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These are compliments of cbarge... FOR THOSE WHO LOVE THE PHILOSOPHY OF AMBIGUITY, AS WELL AS THE IDIOSYNCRASIES OF ENGLISH:1. ONE TEQUILA, TWO TEQUILA, THREE TEQUILA ... FLOOR.2. ATHEISM IS A NON-PROPHET ORGANIZATION.3. IF MAN EVOLVED FROM MONKEYS AND APES, WHY DO WE STILL HAVE MONKEYS AND APES?4. THE MAIN REASON THAT SANTA IS SO JOLLY IS BECAUSE HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE BAD GIRLS LIVE.5. I WENT TO A BOOKSTORE AND ASKED THE SALESWOMAN, “WHERE’S THE SELF- HELP SECTION? SHE SAID IF SHE TOLD ME, IT WOULD DEFEAT THE PURPOSE.6. WHAT IF THERE WERE NO HYPOTHETICAL QUESTIONS?7. IF A DEAF CHILD SIGNS SWEAR WORDS, DOES HIS MOTHER WASH HIS HANDS WITH SOAP?8. IF SOMEONE WITH MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES THREATENS TO KILL HIMSELF, IS IT CONSIDERED A HOSTAGE SITUATION?9. IS THERE ANOTHER WORD FOR SYNONYM?10. WHERE DO FOREST RANGERS GO TO “GET AWAY FROM IT ALL?”11. WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU SEE AN ENDANGERED ANIMAL EATING AN ENDANGERED PLANT?12. IF A PARSLEY FARMER IS SUED, CAN THEY GARNISH HIS WAGES?13.. I almost cried every day after we moved but I had no choice but to make new friends and do what my parents told me to do.After the Summer passed, I was signed up to my new high school and I didn't know anyone at all. It was very lonely and all the girls and boys seemed to already know each other so I knew I had to fit in somewhere if I wanted any friends at all. I met a couple of girls and boys the first week there and some of them were nice and seemed to be fun. One of the girls asked me to a party at her parents place in a couple weeks after a football game and I told her I would love to go.The next two weeks were uneventful for the most part except for a few pep rallies for our football team and finally, the party time arrived. I had my mom drop me off at my friends house where the party was and there were probably already about 15 or 20 people there. My new friend took me out to the back where her parents had a big barn and inside were more students hanging around, listening to.
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